June 4th, 2008

      on my way here

 
it took much longer than expected, but i'm happy to say that i'm now completely satisfied with the new clay aiken CD. whew.

 

March 18th, 2008

howling self

so the signing of the lease turned out to be much less of a leap from childhood and much more of a pathetic inner conversation. as we were reading over the contract and filling in all the blanks i just sat there occasionally peaking at emma and fiona's sheets to make sure i was still on the right track, as if cheating on a grade school pop quiz. i signed page after page, and as the other two would pause, slant their heads a bit, and mull over the points of the page i'd just thoughtlessly signed, i'd be consumed with thoughts of how incredibly boring and easily forgeable my signature looked.

winner.

 

 

March 16th, 2008

resounding

last night's nichol edwards outing has left me convinced that stu is an alcoholic manwhore. and that it's just generally bad to associated with those types.

having said that, that doesn't at all mean that i won't be back next friday. was just a passing thought, really.

 

 

March 14th, 2008

absentminded melody


at the moment... i'm reading hunter s. thompson's "the rum diary" and haruki murakami's "blind willow, sleeping woman" and their stories are bleeding into one another. my ears are usually filled with ray lamontagne, the corrections, or blur. when i'm with people my mouth is always moving, but i'm finding that i really value my alone time lately. my legs are usually uncomfortable as i'm trying to break in a new pair of jeans. and my heart is being held hostage in a haunted pub.


i guess things could be worse.


     March 11th, 2008

let it rain, let it pour


today it poured down as i walked home and all the sensible people pulled out their umbrellas and put up their hoods. i got to my door and my boots had turned into miniature swimming pools, my hair was sporting some very fashionable knots, and my sweater felt more like a wet dog hugging me than any form of clothing. i liked the walk home though. i’m learning i’ll have to embrace the rain if i plan on living here any longer.                

but the kooks tickets arrived and london was great. i’m living there for a year once my degree is finished. i love being in a crowd and feeling tiny. is that bad?

i also finally viewed the flat today. we started sorting out the paperwork and we should be signing some time next week. i guess i’m slowly growing up. 



February 19th, 2008

shortly before the end


today one of my lecturers was rambling on about king lear and he started to stray a bit. he was saying that when you tell someone you love them, you usually want to tell them in exaggerated terms that make no sense, but that seem right in the moment. he said even if you could logically love someone more than the entire world, that’s just not how love works. he said that love expands and contrasts to accommodate the different people in your life, and that you really can’t give someone your whole heart. 

so last night we booked everything. 


February 15th, 2008

the trouble is

     
“with friends and strangers i can be no one; more and more i confine myself to their company. then one day i enter a room full of acquaintances and fly into a blind panic.”


February 14th, 2008

they keep telling me it's friend appreciation day


lauren is a crazy bitch and convinced me to go to london with her for a few days over breakfast. we’re sorting flights out tonight. crazy bitch.


February 14th, 2008

too sexy for my scarf


i meant to write about our night out on friday earlier, but i’m just getting around to it. twas a great night and i thought it deserved some mention. we went to nichol edwards again. there’s a strange crowd in there. it’s an intimate sort of space though, so it’s hard not to meet people. and the music. my god, the music. i’ve a ridiculous crush on the guy that plays there friday and saturday nights, and am not at all ashamed to say that he’s the only reason i returned. and plan to return every friday for the rest of my life. he records different instruments then loops the recordings until he has a beat and about four instruments going. and his voice is beautiful. lauren asked him to do a radiohead cover and he played fake plastic trees. i recorded it on my phone and have since listened to the recording some incredibly stupid number of times. ah, childish obsessions. i figure if i only indulge in you once a week i’ll be safe.


February 10th, 2008

dear body,


i apologize for what i did to you last night. no more tequila for a long time. promise.


February 3rd, 2008

there there


there is nothing glamorous about missing someone. 

there comes a time when you realize convincing yourself that every sad song somehow relates to your situation is just cruel escapism. and if you’re gonna go down that route, chocolate always works better anyways, don’t it?


January 27th, 2008

no one else


i had been told about her. 
how she would always, always.
how she would never, never.
i’d watched and listened.
but i still fell for her.
how she always, always.
how she never, never.
-jackie kay 


January 26th, 2008

serendipity


have you ever gone into the “missed connections” section of craigslist? it’s honest, desperate, rude. i love it. these were a few favourites:

all broken hearted and shit
reply to: pers-535375956@craigslist.org
date: 2008-01-10, 11:00PM PST
rejection sucks. i wish you wanted me as much as i want you, but you don’t. so now i know. fuck, you’re a heartbreaker.



to hot bobby, or robbie, i don’t know your actual name
reply to: pers-535353268@craigslist.org
date: 2008-01-10, 10:16PM PST
Hey, so you live in the apartment on top of my work. I don’t really care if you’re seeing anyone right now, because I’m not writing this in hopes of something happening. I just have a deep appreciation for fine lookin’ men. So props to you, and to your parents, who also must have been hot. Later hot r(b)obbie.


girl that held the door for me at blenz on davie st, tuesday night
reply to: pers-533213228@craigslist.org
date: 2008-01-09, 12:19AM PST
In the one in a million chance you may see this… fingers crossed… I thought you were really cute but it was a bad time for introductions… but I’d like the opportunity for another chance… You often trap stranger in?


SaveOnFoods - Midnight/Saturday
reply to: pers-530537574@craigslist.org
date: 2008-01-06, 2:49PM PST
you: clean-cut guy without a SaveOnFoods card, interested in cheese & wine
us: two blonde women with SaveOnFoods card and brie, wanted to flirt back but in a rush
on the off-chance you read these- let’s do timmy’s and see what happens!

 

 

January 3rd, 2008

everyone is sick

what's going on?

December 15th, 2007

subterranean homesick alien


so i'm finally done with exams and off to london early tomorrow morning. four days over there and i'm back home for christmas. home. i miss it. so much that is surprises me. i miss being surrounded by friends i've known for nine years, not nine weeks. i miss my car and driving on the right side of the road. i miss my family, miss my dog. i miss sushi restaurants on every block and a starbucks at every corner. i miss mountains covered in snow, not plastic. i miss plugging things into walls without a bloody converter inbetween. don't mean to complain, just homesick for the first time in a long time.

 


December 12th, 2007

some advice

never study horizontally. no good can come of it.



December 6th, 2007

2 + 2 = 5

i feel like i woke up and it was december. days pass so quickly here.

December 5th, 2007

shelter

i told him i feel the strongest when i'm with him. he said that that's when he feels the weakest because he opens himself completely.